If I See One More Political Advertisement....

....I'm running out into the street and stabbing the first person I see.

That is all.

Why My Job Is Creepy.

While I'm sure it would be nice to only drive ten minutes to get to this office, there is a reason I will never, ever live in the same county where I work. A few weeks ago, I got this letter from a parolee. He sent it from jail.

The Event, and Why It Might Not Suck

The "must-watch" advertisements for TV pilots every September can get tiring. I watch a grand total of two shows with any regularity: Mad Men (because it's outstanding) and Project Runway (because I like my Thursday nights with an injection of fabulousness).

And Another

Thank Christ the police didn't write this one. Here's the written statement of the girlfriend of one of my parolees:

I was arrested Staurday 15th of may. I was charged with pisson of meth I was told that [boyfriend] wouldn't be charged with it. It was found In my makeup Bag. I took the charge now I belive what is right that all charges against [boyfriend] she be dropped on him thanks.

You see stuff like this and wonder how this guy is anything other than screwed.

When Spell-Checking Isn't Enough

I just read this sentence in a police report: "He also stated that he knows the female and all she does is steel."

Steel. STEEL.

The people who write these are given guns by the government. Be afraid.

I'm Calling It Now.

There will not be a better single released all year than this one. I give you Cee Lo Green's "Fuck You."



How the video manages to be so charming, I have no idea. The whole thing is ridiculous. And awesome.

Well played, Cee Lo. Well played.

Oh, Honey. No.

Tonight, Colbie Caillat sang the national anthem at the Vikings/Saints game:



Colbie, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Friendly reminder to all the singers all there: don't fuck with the national anthem. Also, the word "free" does not contain 18 syllables. Sing it straight, please. Unless your name is Marvin Gaye.



But it probably isn't, since he's kinda dead. So just leave it be.