The Event, and Why It Might Not Suck

The "must-watch" advertisements for TV pilots every September can get tiring. I watch a grand total of two shows with any regularity: Mad Men (because it's outstanding) and Project Runway (because I like my Thursday nights with an injection of fabulousness).

And Another

Thank Christ the police didn't write this one. Here's the written statement of the girlfriend of one of my parolees:

I was arrested Staurday 15th of may. I was charged with pisson of meth I was told that [boyfriend] wouldn't be charged with it. It was found In my makeup Bag. I took the charge now I belive what is right that all charges against [boyfriend] she be dropped on him thanks.

You see stuff like this and wonder how this guy is anything other than screwed.

When Spell-Checking Isn't Enough

I just read this sentence in a police report: "He also stated that he knows the female and all she does is steel."

Steel. STEEL.

The people who write these are given guns by the government. Be afraid.

I'm Calling It Now.

There will not be a better single released all year than this one. I give you Cee Lo Green's "Fuck You."



How the video manages to be so charming, I have no idea. The whole thing is ridiculous. And awesome.

Well played, Cee Lo. Well played.

Oh, Honey. No.

Tonight, Colbie Caillat sang the national anthem at the Vikings/Saints game:



Colbie, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should.

Friendly reminder to all the singers all there: don't fuck with the national anthem. Also, the word "free" does not contain 18 syllables. Sing it straight, please. Unless your name is Marvin Gaye.



But it probably isn't, since he's kinda dead. So just leave it be.

A Song and a Question

One of the local radio stations has been playing Sheryl Crow's new song a lot lately:




On the one hand: it's almost impossible for me to dislike a tune like this. I have a fondness for songs that sound like someone came up with them while jamming half-drunk with a bunch of friends on a front porch somewhere (see also: "Beast of Burden"), and I do love good use of an orchestra to back a simple pop song, which in part explains why Motown is so awesome. It all adds up to something extremely easy to listen to.

On the other: who's she ripping off more, Ray LaMontagne or Van Morrison?

In Which I Give My Complexion a Talking-To

I see what you're doing there, zit, and I don't approve.

Honestly? I am entirely too old to be dealing with you. I don't know how you missed the memo that you were supposed to magically disappear once I graduated high school, so I'm just giving you a heads-up here. You should be done with me by now. Genetics has already doomed me to skin of the, "Hey, you know that oil spill in the Gulf? It's all taken care of, because it's obviously migrated to my face" variety. Must you continue to complicate things further? Was the trouble you caused me during puberty not enough?

I want you to go to your room and think about what you've done. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Do My Ears Deceive Me....

...or is Ke$ha's new song based around the melody to that "there's a place in France where the ladies wear no pants" song that my brother used to annoy me with when he was five?